"She felt everything too deeply, it was like the world was too much for her."
“I am that clumsy human, always loving, loving, loving. And loving. And never leaving.”
Frida Kahlo, The Diary Of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait
Oh, I do love this band! Definitely something I wanna see live.
Portfolio Shoot, Studio 52
Yesterday I spent the day in Soho shooting for my first Modelling Portfolio. I was super nervous about the whole thing - although I do love a good selfie, having the lights, the cameras, and the photographers made it seem a little more formal than just the classic bathroom selfie. I’ve done a few shoots before but my confidence was so low that no matter how many hundreds of images I scanned through, none of them ever looked good to me. This time was completely different for me and I think that was because my self confidence has risen over the past few months. I’m in a much better place, I’m finally content with just being myself.
"I gave wrong people the right pieces of me."
Glamour for the Gym?
I’ve seen a lot of women who go to the gym with a face of make-up, all the matching kit and these trainers that are so clean you could eat your dinner off them. Now, I’m not going to completely criticise these types of women because I used to be one of them! (Take a lot at the picture above, although I had just finished a long day at College, where I normally where make up - there was no way I felt comfortable taking it off for my workout.) There’s no rule to what you wear when you work out, I’ve even seen some extremely odd outfits - from the old man in the Joey Essex tiny shorts to the unsightly woman with the 80’s one piece.
Before taking gym as serious as I do now, I took more care in my appearance and was conscious of myself working out. I suppose this was because of a few comments from a heartless ex made about myself working out without make-up. This would play on my mind every time I wanted to work out at the gym, I was afraid that other people would agree with his comments. As my work outs got more intense and I became more passionate about improving my physical strength the effort of wearing make up became more of a hassle.
If you don’t already know, sweating in make up is bad for the skin as it opens up the pores and increases a grease and dirt build up which is often the cause of spots and other skin problems that are preventable if we all go fresh faced! As I got into more of a routine, I would become less bothered about how I looked. I’d observe women who really worked out, and weren’t giving a second thought to the hunks in the weight section but instead focusing on themselves, make up free and working hard.
My self-esteem and confidence was often masked with make up and fashion, something that is still important to me and I’m sure always will be but it’s how I use it which is changed. I know go to the gym fresh faced and in my comfiest gym clothes, the gym is not a social place - people are there to work out, and leave! Now I feel that theres nothing better than getting out the gym, even if you’re sweaty and smelly and cooling off in the shower without worrying about my make up running. It’s so refreshing!
I still enjoy picking out new gym clothes, but now I do so to benefit myself, what I’d feel most comfortable in - not picking out things that I think other people would like.
We workout to better ourselves physically, we also do so to better ourselves mentally. So the first step of doing this, especially women like me with low self-esteem, is feeling comfortable with ourselves - make up free!
"When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you."
"I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being."
"‘You don’t actually get over things… you incorporate them. They become part of everything you are. I don’t mean that you walk about crying all the time. But you change.’"
When You’re Falling, Dive: Lessons in the Art of Living
, by Mark Matousek (via prematal